Meditations

I am starting new habits for the 2nd part of my life.  I heard some stoic rule about journaling which is what Marcus Aurelius did a lot of.  Reflecting on the thoughts after or during the day.  I guess the hope is to come back to a story of a work in progress.  I have an interesting perspective having no children of my own.  There are no manuals to living a married life with out children and see how having children changes the dynamics of a marriage everyday.  Like how I spend my time.  And the things I read and what and how much I know.  I spend a lot of time thinking and watching other people on YouTube.  I get angry a lot.  Stoics talk about that and not living some else’s grief.  I don’t like injustice and have a thing about bullying.  I see how some white people have taken on this guilt and think it’s OK to crap on themselves.  And on that I hate even more people who get high on the righteousness of telling someone else they are WRONG.  That’s just crazy.  I’m an Asian man who grew up being bullied by all kinds of people – there’s no race for cruelty.  Grew up with people who you can feel danger off of.  Like you know you were insignificant in their presence and you hope the monster doesn’t get the urge to step on you.  I felt it from a white man you was mouthing off in bad franglaise.  I felt it off of a black man I once had to face off with in a game of soccer.  I’ve felt it off a group of boisterous Greek teens at a restaurant I was at.  I’m just rambling.  Meditating.

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